Le sigh my friends! I confess, I am in a bit of a slump. Physically, mentally, CREATIVELY. I find it difficult to concentrate on the simplest tasks, let alone more complex ones.
A few things on my mind:
– I am in a bona finde, skip-button-happy music slump. No song/artist/album will do these days. The only song that I’ve been unable to stop listening to is “Bad Kids” by Ms. Gaga- and this streak is about 5 more plays away from being temporarily retired. On the horizon, however, is Bon Iver’s new album set to come out on Tuesday. I’ve been listening to it on NPR’s First Listen over and over and it will be no longer available to stream post-release, so I must own it!!!
[quite the pair, eh?]
– I have ended my weekly commitment with GalTime. This is mostly due to being slightly overwhelmed by my Neighborhood Notes assignments, and partly due to a disconnect in values with the national site. I want to be proud of what I am contributing to, and while I had total freedom with GT, my writing was still associated with a larger force. I feel extremely lucky to have 14 articles that I am proud of, and am especially honored to have met my editor, Liz, who graciously left the door open for me to return whenever.
– I got my first check for writing in the mail last week. It felt great, even a bit emotional… and then of course the self-doubt crept in (“I’m not worthy! Wait, am I worthy? I totes am… right???” ah geez, Reed). Cue up the scene in Little Women when Jo learns that the paper is publishing one of her stories and she skips about, holding her $5 check, proclaiming “I’m an author!”
– In somewhat related news, even with money as a motivator, I am struggling to recapture the joy I once felt in writing. It might go along with the aforementioned fleeting focus, but I’m afraid it’s indicitive of deeper…”issues.” I won’t go all keyboard psychologist on you, but I feel like maybe if I acknowledge the problem pseudo-publically, it will help to overcome it in some way. Pen to paper helps; nothing like a good journal sesh to make me feel slightly less freakish.
-It’s Father’s Day for a few more hours on the Best Coast and I have to announce that my dad rules. There was a point in my life- maybe around age 12 or 13- when I realized that not all dads are like mine. Up until then, I thought that all girls had fathers who read to them at night (Hardy Boys, no less!), coached their sports teams, and treated them to goodies outlawed by mom. It is a bittersweet moment to know that you are in the minority of father/daughter relationships. My non-Catholic Catholic guilt is overwhelming at times, with feelings of gratitude towards my dad equaled by my intense sadness for those who are not as lucky as me and my sister. To my dad, who is my shining example of how a man can be sensitive and sweet just as much as he can be a strong defender and protector.
Alright Pose-rs, that is all for now. I am departing the Rose City for the Circle City later this week and I cannot wait to spend some QT with my family. It will also be nice to escape obligations for a few days and hopefully recharge.
Wishing you well with whatever weighs on your minds and hearts this week; much love.