What does it take to give ourselves a so called “breath of fresh air?” A new perspective on an old, seemingly familiar topic, a “shot in the arm” [figuratively, of course]? I’ve written here about ebbs and flows in so many areas of my life; creativity, relationships, passions. All of this seems extremely natural to a certain extent, however admitting a “low point” is difficult and can often feel like a confession of sorts. Yes, I love to write and specifically, I love to write about style/fashion/personal flair, but YES, I abso-fing-lutely admit to periods devoid of interest and originality. My wise father, as I shared a few months ago, suggested that, when faced with “writer’s block” type moments, I soldier on like an athlete, intent on facing the next opponent/assignment. Sometimes that thinking helps pull me out of slumps and sometimes it doesn’t. I’ve been in the midst of a lot of introspection lately; it’s sort of inevitable when one is alone as often as I am. I have the luxury, really, of observing myself at my best and at my worst, when no one else is around. At times, this is maddening and provides nothing but an endless list of flaws; other times, I really learn about myself and what makes me tick, what I like about myself and how I am most productive.
On a larger scale, though, I’ve been struggling with being motivated and inspired to write. How can I possibly be enthusiastic about a topic that at many times recently I’ve felt “over.” It’s always been difficult for me to write about/promote supporting local businesses & locally produced garments when I am often financially unable to practice what I preach, so to speak. But I have a commitment, one that I’ve examined many times and come to the conclusion again and again that it is worth keeping for multiple reasons.
So why am I feeling renewed? Well, as per many instances in my life, I have my family to thank. As I mentioned in previous posts, my sister visited me last weekend. We walked all over this city, pounding the pavement, stopping in familiar and unfamiliar destinations. Throughout it all, my sister kept saying how lucky I am to live in a place where so much is accessible on foot. Her city, she says, is lacking the boutique and independent retailer scene that in Portland is so vast that it’s almost overwhelming. Showing her around, I felt a sense of pride that I haven’t in far too long. I thought about all the reasons I moved here in the first place and how different Portland is from where I grew up. Obviously, it has its flaws like every city, but being with my sis recharged my PDX luv battery; I have a voice [a quiet one, but a voice nonetheless] when it comes to showcasing the many local gems in this city and I take that very seriously.
Another boost recently came in the form of some much coveted face time with the masterminds behind the site I contribute to. They are partners, a coupling that I so incredibly admire, but do not envy. Theirs is a relationship that is intertwined in the personal and professional world, a distinction that I want to keep separate in my life, but certainly appreciate when others can make it look so damn easy. My bosses, if you will, unveiled a new editorial schedule and included me in the conversation; it was so rewarding and valuable to hear it face-to-face and feel the relief and excitement surrounding change. Their confidence in me helped to perpetuate the fresh energy from the weekend. I am intimidated by the new schedule, don’t get me wrong, but I am also excited; a feeling that I’m all-too eager to welcome.
In what ways do you experience fresh energy? When do you know if a task and/or commitment is stale beyond revival?
Hair update: I scheduled an appointment for next week at Gold + Arrow salon, an establishment I stumbled upon running errands during my lunch break. I’ll bring this image of Ms. St. Vincent as a guide, unless I weenie out of course….
OH and one more link before I go; all the aforementioned alone time & introspection can inevitably turn towards what I want out of a partner, if I want a partner, what the fuzz do I want, etc. My friend posted this article, “All the Single Ladies,” from The Atlantic which I found incredibly interesting. The notion of the “Cleaver Family” unit is so recent in history, yet is the uniform model society clings to to fit all couples. In the past, the author tells how people married for much more practical reasons. I don’t want to make statements on marriage or come across as judgmental towards others who have “taken the plunge,” as I know it is a source of pride & joy for many [worked out pretty well for me, clearly], and I certainly don’t count it out of my own future. What I most related to was the author’s assertion that women should feel independent and successful on their own before committing to a relationship where the expectation is to have all of her needs met. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, ya know?! Most times easier said/written than lived, but so it goes for most wise notions.
Until next pose; keep it fresh and foxy peeps.